Unfortunately, Kiper and the NFL scouts missed a few guys that might be superstars in the next couple of years.
- O.J. Simpson. Occupation: Retired entrepreneur. Age: 60ish. Specs: 6'3", 250 lbs. Whatever happened to this guy? He was a Heisman-Trophy-winner at USC, and now all he does is play golf and search for his wife's killer(s). He doesn't have the running-back-physique any more, but, with conditioning, O.J. could be perfect as a big, bruising tight-end, stabbing into and penetrating various coverage packages. How this guy didn't end up in the NFL straight after college is a mystery to me.
- Bowser. Occupation: Castle master/Princess Peach's repeated kidnapper. Age: 19. Specs: Turtle with spikes. Bowser is a huge, deadly turtle. He's surprisingly agile, which compliments his physical prowess nicely. This guy is a bulldozer...with a wrecking ball attached! (That description copyright 1980something by Rocky III) If the Los Angeles Rams are in the market for a fullback, Bowser is "the guy."
- Vladimir Putin. Occupation: President of USSR. Age: 104. Specs: As tall as a pole and twice as wide. Putin knows how to win: make your opponents "an offer they can't refuse!" LOL. If the Packers picked up a guy like this, you could be sure that Brian Urlacher's endorsement deal with Vitamin Water would be dead almost as quickly as Urlacher himself. Putin also runs a 4.2 second 40-yard-dash, which would make him handy as a kick returner.
- Brad Johnson. Occupation: Unemployed. Go get this guy! He's not doing anything! He's an absolute professional! Unlike most quarterbacks, who throw to receivers on pass plays, Brad Johnson threw to areas on the field when he was quarterback of the Vikings. He is also a really "hot" guy.
2 comments:
Spiderman: Current Employment- Staff photographer for the Daily Bugle/Friendly, Neighborhood Crime Fighter--Pros: Good hands, quick comng off the line, agile, can make people miss in open field, good third receiver option
Cons: Slight build, Played at Division III Empire State University where competition is lacking, lacks toughness going across the middle, a variety of off-the-field issues
Overall- A 6th or 7th round pick
Jesus: Current Employment-Son of God and perpetual buzzkill--Pros: Divine intervention, smart player, ability to smite unbelievers and defenders.
Cons: A little uptight, too preachy, nail holes in hands and shins decrease his catching and running abilities.
Post a Comment