Before I saw this (see above) in my grocer's freezer, I'd been eating crap--unbalanced meals consisting of stuff like pita bread, hummus, corn, peas, and fresh fruit. I even ate sushi sometimes. Such is the diet of the lazy college student.
Then I noticed that for just a few dollars more per meal, I could have wholesome, all-American cooking, conveniently precooked and flash-frozen for maximum freshness. The Hungry Man XXL Angus Meatloaf is an all-American meal, as I just noted--it sure beats that terrorist falafel and downright secular sushi I'd been eating in small quantities. Let's not forget the Hungry Man XXL Backyard Barbeque: chicken, ribs, and just about as much mashed potatoes and brown gravy as I could stuff into my face.
The Hungry Man XXL processed food-like dinner has several other advantages over fresh but dangerous foods. Not only are Hungry Man XXL dinners decidedly not ethnic, they are also
- More efficient (denser) than fresh food.
- Bigger (1.5 pounds of food). If you made dinner for yourself from fresh ingredients, it's unlikely that you'd eat that much.
- Only slightly more expensive than fresh food. You get what you pay for...am I right, or am I right? C'mon!
- Mild-tasting. While other foods try to overwhelm you with flavor, each bite of the Hungry Man XXL dinner--from the chicken to the potatoes--tastes exactly the same. High marks for consistency!
4 comments:
For more on the wonder that is a Hungry Man meal, I suggest this expose on the 1,030 calorie Hungry Man breakfast. Also, what can't you buy on Amazon.com? I think I saw eternal life and happiness for $159.99 on the site the other day.
Here's a really accurate look at what happens when you don't eat a Hungry Man meal for dinner, men.
Thanks for that, margarita. I can't believe Hungry Man XXL has been around since 2002 without my knowledge.
Why don't the women at the table get blown away? Presumably they didn't eat the Backyard Barbecue either. Is this a gender issue? Discuss.
The women didn't get blown away because they were chained to the stove, which is weird because the husband ate a microwaveable meal, but nevertheless this is the case.
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