I watched Double Team yesterday. For any ignoranuses out there, Double Team stars Jean-Claude Van Damme as a secret agent, and rebounding legend Dennis Rodman as an international arms dealer based in Antwerp. "Who does your hair? Siegfried or Roy?" Jack Quinn (Van Damme) cleverly jokes upon meeting the flamboyant Yaz (Rodman), whose hair is dyed in rainbow stripes.
This is from Canadian IMDB user joes_poop's review of the film: "A brilliant story line and Damme good action are what really bring this movie together, the action scenes are like watching Michelangelo's David take shape and all you can do is stand in awe at it's beauty. Van-Damme is a man on a mission, and won't stop for anything on this roller coaster ride of excitement, laughter, and adventure." Although this critic's sense of grammar isn't well-formed, his sense of irony is as rich as anything you'll find in the Entenmann's display case at the end of the aisle.
The narrative is too convoluted to discuss. I'll mention one beef I have with the dialog. Yaz makes basketball references constantly. For example, when Yaz tosses a man through a car window, he remarks, "that's gotta be at least a five-pointer!" This makes no sense because Yaz is an arms dealer, not a basketball player. It's as if the writer(s) forgot what character they were writing for: Dennis Rodman or Yaz.
Quibbles aside, Double Team boasts a terrific montage during which Quinn trains himself to hold his breath underwater, using a bathtub and a burning cigarette. By the end of the montage, he is able to hold his breath for the time it takes an entire cigarette to burn in an ashtray. This skill comes in handy immediately when Quinn has to make an underwater escape from "The Colony." The Colony is a place where super-intelligent secret agents and other international men of mystery are held as prisoners and forced to solve the world's problems. Sounds like pure Hollywood fantasy, right? Why don't you go to Antwerp and then talk to me about fantasy, Mr. Smart Guy?
For all the fighting in the movie, the stars hardly kill anyone. In fact, I can only think of one person Jack kills in the entire film. To contrast, in Commando, John Matrix (Schwarzenegger) kills 200+ people.
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3 comments:
I really want to see this movie:
"Jean-Claude Van Damme may never have risen to the top ranks of action stars, but his movies have been consistently enjoyable--partly because they don't take themselves too seriously. In The Order, Van Damme plays a thief of religious artifacts whose archeologist father has found the lost scripture of a mysterious religious order. When the old man is kidnapped, Van Damme soon finds himself cruising around the twisty streets of Jerusalem, getting into dynamic kickboxing battles while disguised as a Hasidic Jew. With the help of a beautiful Israeli cop (Sofia Milos), Van Damme uncovers a plot within the religious order that leads to secret catacombs beneath the holy city. Silly? Perhaps, but directed with vitality and surprising wit. Van Damme is trim and energetic, Milos is engaging, and a cameo by Charlton Heston (!) only adds to the general atmosphere of spunky fun."
MMMmmmmm... Spunky fun.
Wow, The Order sounds like it's some kind of something! I see that in my near-renting future.
albatross,
I clicked your link to The Order on amazon.com and found the official plot summary extremely amusing.
# Tagline: Unleash The Power.
# Plot Synopsis: Van Damme plays Rudy whose father, Oscar is an archaeologist. His father goes to Israel. When his father disappears, he goes to Israel to find him. The chief of police claims that his father never entered the country, but an old friend of his father's was expecting him and before he could tell him more, *some people start shooting at them.* He manages to get away, and when he goes back to the police chief, he still refuses to believe that a crime has been committed. He then has Rudy deported, but Rudy convinces the police woman assigned to bring him to the airport not to and help him find his father.
My favorite is the "some people start shooting at them." part. Did they lift this synopsis from a fifth grader's report for school?
Unleash the power.
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