At a recent Goldeneye Summit, local intellectuals met to play Goldeneye on Nintendo 64. I attended the summit with an enthusiastic interest in playing the game.
As I played and tried to kill the other three competitors in the chaotic melee, I noticed something: I despised my enemies. I wanted them to be dead. And I don't just mean the characters in the game. When someone's character attacked me, I wanted to reach over and tear that person's head off.
I lost many games in a row. Thoughts of throwing my controller at the TV raced through my addled brain, but I thought better of it. After all, the summit was held at my abode, on my widescreen TV.
Afterwards we went out for sandwiches, and at the restaurant my animosities ran deeply. I thought of poisoning my enemies by replacing the lettuce on their BLTs with hemlock, rendering the sandwiches BLHs. I looked at the other summit attendees and all I saw was Bond, Siberian Special Forces, and Civilian. The video game began to consume me.
Goldeneye released its stranglehold on me before I was able to injure real people. But be careful the next time you play a multiplayer game, because this tragic story could be about YOU.
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