Commando Revisited

Last night, Mega Man and I, along with a friend of the blog who often identifies himself as "Toast", watched the film Commando, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as John Matrix. Mega Man and I had seen it several times, but last night's viewing was Toast's very first. I was so jealous of Toast...it's a privilege to watch Commando for the first time. There are parts of it you might appreciate more with repeated viewings, such as when Matrix kills two soldiers by tossing circular saw blades at their heads, or when Matrix tempts the evil, leather-and-chain-mail-clad Bennett to a knife fight and Bennett boils with erotic desire at the thought of killing his ex-comrade-in-arms.

It is precisely Bennett on whom I want to focus this review. Bennett is played by an overweight, mustached actor who I've seen in no other movie. He is supposed to be Matrix's major foe in the film--the ultra-intimidating right-hand-man of a South American dictator, who kills Matrix's former team (some super-specialized elite military unit) and kidnaps his daughter (a very young Alyssa Milano) in an effort to get Matrix to do something. I don't remember what the terrorists want Matrix to do. Frankly, it's not important. But what is important is that although Bennett is represented as a good physical match for Matrix, he looks like a flabby middle-aged man in tight S & M clothes. It's obvious that he is in love with Matrix, and derives erotic satisfaction from cutting him during their final confrontation. Ironically, Matrix impales Bennett with a giant phallus (a long, thick section of pipe, which apparently carries steam through the dictator's basement) in the end. Bennett final gets to have sexual contact of sorts with Matrix, but pays the ultimate price.

Commando vilifies the effeminate enemy, Bennett, but chooses not to depict him as physically weak. The message: sexual deviants are our enemies (if we identify with Matrix, and, by God, we do), but they can be very powerful, so bring a friend who's well built and looks great in a Speedo (as Matrix does approaching the dictator's island by sea on a raft, and then jogging down the beach). You know Bennett would have loved to see Matrix arrive like that! But that display was strictly for Matrix's sidekick-and-presumably-future-girlfriend's eyes only.

In conclusion, see Commando. See it again. And do your friends a favor: show it to them.